The Kent Family and the Quest for Deluxe Diner

Imagine 1950's America--no, it is NOT Ancient History. It was the era of soc hops, poodle skirts, and quaint diners. Not so long ago, almost every town had that ubiquitous little joint, which was usually uncerimoniously named "Deluxe Diner" or something of the sort. This was the place where every man over 50 met in the morning to drink coffee and re-hash the "good ol' days". This was the place where the kids dropped in for an ice cream sundae after a particularly rough day at school. This place is no more. Sure, a few towns retain this institution, but for the rest of us, what's left? IHOP? Oh Yes, the Indescribably Horrible Oderous Place--need I say more? Reader, you must not suppose that I am biased against IHOP. On the contrary, I have merely attempted to analyze it honestly, and what I find is not impressive. Personally, I do not enjoy syrup that's been sitting on the table since the Roman Empire--yes, the Roman Empire IS Ancient History.


Thus, as IHOP's power spreads, all hope seems lost for the few citizens who remember the taste of yester-year. However, if you are one of these privileged few, do not despair. Cling to the shread of dignity you still retain, and read on!

Tucked beneath the evils of IHOP's globalization, the "Deluxe Diner" has been fighting a fierce and gruesome battle. Some even believe this species to be extinct. *dramatic gasp from the reader* It is at this point that my story begins. Fearing the extinction of the idyllic diner, my family and I took it upon ourselves to search the world over and try to find whatever may be left of the Deluxe Diner! This is the tale of "The Kent Family and the Quest for Deluxe Diner". Warning: This tale is not for the faint-hearted or weak-spirited.

We began by arming ourselves with disguises...












... and we set out to trace the trail of the Deluxe Diner. Danger was rampant, and we knew our chance for survival was slim, but we couldn't let IHOP win. Justice had to prevail!!!!!!! Our search first led us to London where we scoured the crime ridden streets in search of any sign of the Deluxe Diner.

Just as the trail appeared to have run dry, we found a clue. Heading to Austria, we mingled with the people in the Austrian Pubs and managed to glean enough information to keep us on the hunt. We also met up with a friend so skilled in detective work that she has become a household name--no, I am NOT talking about Sherlock Holmes. For privacy's sake, she will be referred to here as "The Mole". In fact, this is the very same detective who solved the infamous BL Case of 2006. Anyway, masking ourselves as pub frequenters, we got the information we needed from our new pub friends.

However, just as things started looking good, we were arrested! This was indeed a rather time-consuming setback, but do not fear for us. We never let small inconveniences keep us from doing our duty to the world!

Knowing our chances for escape were slim, we devised a plan so fiendishly brilliant as to confound even the smartest guard. Abby is frighteningly good at dog impersonations, so we pooled all our clothes together and made her a dog costume. Then, she re-enacted her best interpretation of a german shepherd to distract the guard while we escaped. After escaping, our Diner trail led over the mountains into Germany. However, as fugitives, running from the law, we had to climb the mountain between Germany and Austria on foot *Cue "Climb Every Mountain" from The Sound of Music*.

Masquerading as tourists, we managed to slip past the authorities in several German villages while searching for the trail of the Deluxe Diner.

But alas, the trail took a twisty turn and led us to Texas. Due to unpleasant circumstances, we had to swim across the Atlantic Ocean all the way to Florida.

Thankfully, once we got to Florida, we rented canoes and canoed the rest of the way to Texas--Reader, please do not roll your eyes in disbelief. Although this feat would be impossible for normal individuals, we have never professed to be normal. Thus, this is completely plausible. Furthermore, when spurred by a desire for justice and truth, people often do remarkable things.

Arriving in Texas, we accidentally got caught up in a political protest but eventually managed to search out the individual we needed information from (for privacy purposes, this individual's name cannot be disclosed at this time). By this point in the search, we felt we were close to discovering the truth, but our only clues led us to yet another destination. This time, the Wild West. We got in the car and started driving to Nevada. However, we soon found ourselves pursued by flaming liberals who disagreed with our conservative bumper sticker. Unfortunately, my driving is safe but slow, and after a wild car chase, the liberals caught up to us. We feared the worst.

They proudly brandished their Democrat Pins...

Our fears were well founded...the liberals arrested us for "supporting incompetent political figures".

Fortunately, President Bush pulled another "Libby" maneuver, and we didn't end up in jail. After some serious sleuthing around the ghost towns of Northern Nevada (think Nancy Drew) and an almost fatal shoot-out in Virginia City, Nevada, we were once again on the road. Determination held us within its grips, and we held firm to the standard we had set for ourselves. However, Alaska proved to be the most challenging situation yet. The bitter cold drove into our bodies robbing us of all warmth and hope for truth.

Yet just as we felt the Deluxe Diner cause to be hopeless, we stumbled across the rugged mountain man, Edgar.

Helping us through the uncivilized Alaskan terrain, Edgar also connected us with necessary political figures to further us in our search. At this point we felt indescribably close to finding the Deluxe Diner, but our journey was not over. The clues all pointed towards Canada, so off we went. Upon arrival, we had to blend in with the Canadian people to gain entrance to the country (see me blending into the crowd in this picture).

We got through customs, but our path was blocked by the 8th Grade Badminton Championships which were being held in Victoria. We had a quick group meeting and decided our only option was to play our way through. Fortunately for us, Brenda was a Utah State Intramural Badminton Finalist when she was in college. Using the badminton skills she'd been honing ever since her defeat in the finals of the 1980 Intramural Badminton Championships, Brenda disguised herself as an 8th grader, and won the championship. Victory was indeed glorious, but our race was not yet over. IHOP continued to gain support, and we knew that every moment lost was another lost customer. Winding our way through the crowd of sulking 8th graders, we went directly to the Empress Hotel where we had been told someone could help us in our search. This person told us, "the secret lies in the Middle East", but refused to give any more information. Resigning ourselves to the inevitable, we boarded a plane for the Middle East. We arrived and set out to find the "Deluxe Diner"!

The only locals we could find clearly didn't trust us, so we knew we had to figure out a way to gain their trust. Just as we began to despair, they told us about their community theatre pruduction of Seussical. Feeling that this was meant to be, Emily quickly described her theatrical experience and offered to reprise her previous role as Cindy-Lou-Who. Dear Reader, do not be confused. If you have seen Seussical, you are probably thinking, "I don't remember a Cindy-Lou-Who in the show." Please believe that I would not lie to you. There is a Cindy-Lou-Who and Emily has been described as "that freakishly good Cindy-Lou-Who". Thus, the natives were thrilled, and Emily proceeded to be a part of their play while gaining their trust. After the play, they had become much friendlier towards us and told us where to look for the Deluxe Diner. We set off on wild camels with our friend "The Mole" to find this secret spot in the desert. *Cue Arabian Music*

Arriving at the ruins we had been directed to, we felt we were very close to discovering the existence of the Deluxe Diner and stopped to have a quick picnic. We were frolicking around the picnic area when suddenly out of nowhere, down swooped the evil Mr. C. This fiendish villian laughed a ferocious laugh and said, "I've been watching you, always watching you. As the Executive Director of IHOP, I cannot allow you to get any closer to the Deluxe Diner." Then, brandishing his evil sword, Mr. C. gurgled, "Get into the car." With a flourish, Todd pulled his grinch pajamas out of his bag and began wrapping Mr. C. in the pajamas. This tactic, which was more surprising than successful, did not work. Mr. C. cruelly ripped the favored pajamas. This was indeed a crushing blow to Todd, but he took it with a noble heart. Fearing a swashbuckling defeat if we attempted to resist any more, we acquiesced to Mr. C.'s request. As all villians, Mr. C. had a secret lair deep in the desert, and he maliciously drove us there. When we arrived, he locked us into his Arabian jail and with another evil laugh, swooped away again leaving us to roast in the desert sun. (I warned you this tale is not for the faint-hearted.)

All seemed lost to us Kents who had endured so much and just didn't have anything left to give. Yet, "The Mole" had a solution. In an act of utter genious, she whipped out her travel pack of vaseline, and lubricated the door, which reluctantly opened. Then, in a very Kim Possible-ish maneuver, we escaped! As we returned to the city, we were starving, so we knew we needed to find food quickly. We stopped at the first place we saw, and when we entered...lo and behold...we had found what we had been looking for all along. Yes, disguised amongst the Indian Souqs in Doha, Qatar, the "Deluxe Diner" lives under the alias of "Ric's Kountry Kitchen" (pictured below)!

"I'm Elisabeth Kent and this has been a CBS 60 Minutes Special Report. Thank you, and good night."

Rewind: Helsinki

As my graduation present from my parents, Dad and I went to Helsinki, Finland in May. Dad had a conference there, so I went along to do some sight-seeing. This is a picture of us in the taxi on the way to the airport. It was 5:30am, and we were both exhausted, but also very excited.
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(Setting: Munich Airport)
Dad: "You should check your email."
Me: "I don't really need to. I can check it tonight."
Dad: "It is IMPORTANT to stay connected when you've been traveling for a long time!"
Me: "Dad, we've only been traveling for eight hours."

Later that day...

(Setting: Hotel Arthur, Helsinki)

This is where things get ugly. The only possible word to describe the Hotel Arthur is "ubsgunalternettelinerschudgenpoinfel". Yes, I know you are gasping in horror at the idea of a hotel that can only be described with such a word, but I am committed to telling you the truth, however ugly that truth may be. Do not be fooled by the picture of this hotel room. In the picture, this room looks small but clean, a bit shabby but comfortable-- THE PICTURE LIES!!!!!!

Lest the reader be overcome with grief and pity at the thought of little me having to stay in this room, I will not describe the depths of heinous sorrow that this room produced upon my first encounter with it. Let it suffice that my journal later indicates that "the hotel and I have come to a point of coexistence." Thus, let the story continue.
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The next day...
(Setting: Around Town)
I forgot to inform the reader that my bag didn't make it to Helsinki with us. This may not sound too terrible, but please imagine yourself in 35 degree weather with a wind off the sea trying to explore Helsinki. The prospects for success are grim. However, I am a fighter, and I refused to let the wind, rain, cold, and sleet (OK, there wasn't actually sleet, but it sounds dramatic) keep me in the Hotel Arthur, hereby refered to as The-Place-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. I was forced to choose between the two evils-- unbearable cold or The-Place-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. If you cannot guess which I chose, please re-read the above section detailing The-Place-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Now, where were we? Oh yes, I set off to find the Uspenski Cathedral.

Upon arrival, it hadn't opened yet. This is inevitably the scene where the heroine, who is of course in despair, sits on the top step of a famous landmark and feels like the whole world is against her. Yes, I know you remember scenes like this from your favorite movies. --Dear Reader, Do not be discouraged. Although this may seem like a horror story, redemption is at hand.-- I dragged myself down from the Cathedral, shivering in the bitter cold, and found my way into a little cafe. After a hot cup of coffee, the world looked much nicer--doesn't it always in this type of movie? I visited the Uspenski Cathedral (once it opened), the Catholic Cathedral, and the harbor marketplace where I bought a beautiful necklace for Emily. By this point, I was still cold, but the cold had become bearable, and I began to be truly excited about exploring the city. If there had to be a specific turning point in this change of mood, it would be as follows... after visiting the Cathedrals and marketplace, I began wandering back towards the hotel. I was shuffling along the sidewalk when I looked up, and there before my eyes sat the largest H&M Megastore I have ever seen.

This is not a low-budget, cheesy movie, but if it was, the clouds would suddenly part and beams of sunshine would illuminate H&M. Alas, the clouds did not part, and there was no sunshine, but I was immensely excited to find this haven from the cold weather!

Later that day...

Dad finished his meetings for the day, so we set off to find a good place for dinner. Now let me remind the reader that I love food! I have always loved food. Some people get tired of food. I do not get tired of food. Thus, when Dad and I saw the restaurant "I Love Food", we couldn't resist eating there.

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The Next Day...
Perhaps this day should begin with a quotation from my journal--The heroine of this sort of movie always keeps a journal.
I write in my journal, "Already I have reached day three of this adventure, and I have found the Finnish people very interesting. The are rather pre-occupied with scurrying around town and getting where they're going as quickly as possible. Of course, one can hardly blame them as their country is rather cold. In any case, The-Place-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named and I continue on our terms of co-existence. Dad likes to remark that, 'The beds are pretty comfortable.' I reply, 'This is SO not about the beds!'...This moring I visited the Rock Church, Contemporary Art Museum, and Parliament."

This is the Rock Church. It doesn't look very impressive in the picture, but it was cool because it is actually carved out of rock...

The next memorable moment in this story is Fazier's. If you have seen this movie before, this is the part where you always say "wow!" Even the best of heroines have a weak spot, and Fazier's is mine. It is an adorable little chocolate/ice cream shop and has quite a reputation in Helsinki. Rationalizing our over-eating, Dad and I couldn't help but have some ice cream!


This is Dad's infamous "don't tell Mom I ate this" smile...

Dad is indescribably good at walking around cities, just exploring. Thus, after Fazier's, we looked around the city for a while. Since it stayed light until around 9:30pm, walking around in the evening was fun.

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The Next Day...
By this point, the utter horror of the first day has dissipated, and this has become a very happy, smiley trip. Dad had this day off from the conference, so we headed to Suomenlinna, the sea fortress off of Finland.


Imagining the many battles that had been fought on the island, Dad and I bravely explored. It was an extremely fun excursion!

After returning to the mainland, a trip to Fazier's seemed in order, so we obliged ourselves. The "realization of the day" seems to be that there is an extraordinary large population of pregnant women here. I write in my journal on the subject, "Do not suppose that I am exagerating, for it is true in every sense of the word."
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The Next Day...
Helsinki's charm does not come from museums or landmarks. It comes from the pleasant, crisp, beautiful atmosphere! As I wrote in my journal, "Just walking the streets is a fabulous experience!" Every building is individualized and unique. Thus, the architecture is a ton of fun! Also, there is an abundance of coffee shops and cafes. This is truly a winning factor! After walking through the cold, rainy streets, a hot mocca is a pleasurable retreat!

Up to this point, I have failed to mention the Eurovision Song Contest, which inhabited Helsinki while we were there. Eurovision is in fact the contest that discovered ABBA, and as you can imagine, there was an influx of every type of people into the city. While the intrusion of crowds was undesirable, there were performance venues all around the city. I loved watching the performers, who were from a multitude of different countries.

There was a stage next to the Cathedral, so everyone sat on the Cathedral steps while they watched the performances.
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The Next Day...
My final day in Finland was wonderful enough to make up for the disastrous first day. Dad and I visited the little Finnish villiage of Porvoo. It was adorable!

The shopping area was so quaint and fun! Dad and I had tea in a little tea shop.


Originally, all the houses in the villiage were made of wood. There are still a few left along the riverbank.

The crowning joy on the day was definitely when we saw a three-wheeled car!! We were walking along, and I said, "Dad, does that car only have three wheels?" It was a randomly hilarious moment!

In the end, I wrote in my journal, "Finland is a charming country, and I shall always think of it as a very happy place."

Beach Update

Here's a quick picture of last week's Beach Trip. Only someone as crazy as Emily would consent to being buried in that sand--gross!

Beach Fun

Eid Break means a trip to the beach around here. Since the weather finally starts to cool off in October, Eid comes at the perfect time for Beach Parties. However, I determined not to go today for two reasons. First, I've had an exhausting 8 weeks of school, so a day at home, just resting, was much needed. Second, I'm trying to minimize my risk for skin cancer, and 6 hours in the blazing sun getting burnt to a crisp won't help. Thus, I awoke this morning just in time to shoo my lovely family out the door expecting a peaceful day alone. After what seemed like endless hours of listening to "Where're my sunglasses?", "Did you put my towel in the car?", "What do you mean this swimsuit's too small?", "Did we forget to take the cookies out of the oven?", I finally heard the car doors close. All was right in the world--or not. I heard a little whimpering bark. And yes, I, the girl who passionately despises all animals, realized I was left for an entire day with Winston, our fiendish new puppy.

At this point in the story, I cannot help but digress. Let me remind the readers that...
1) It was I who argued vehemently against getting a dog.
2) It was I who insisted that if my family got a dog, I would have nothing to do with it and would take no responsiblity for it.
3) It is I who daily tell my family that we are living in FILTH due to this dog.
OK. You get the picture.

Resigning myself to the inevitable, I ventured into the dog's room. *Cue Mission Impossible Theme Song* It would be a dangerous and dirty day, but I would face it with vigor. I would face it like a man!!! OK, where was I? That's right, I entered the lair of the intensely feared monster of the mansion. Winston and I had a stare-down. I considered it crucial to establish my authority from the beginning. Let me just say...it was a hard day. Animals make me nervous, and I make them nervous. I'm not sure my nerves will ever be the same. ;-)

Anyways, here are some pictures from last year's Eid Beach Trip...


This is a typical "Camel-Crossing" sign. :-)


When you take a nerd to the beach...

If You Only Knew...The Things I've Seen, The Things I've Done...

Wow. It's been a while since I've written, and life has gotten crazy!!! I'm already five and a half weeks into my first semester at Georgetown. On my first day of class, I picked up my books--a total of 28! Of course, I was totally overwhelmed by this mountain of reading, but by the end of the day, I also had about 36 essays (over the semester) to worry about. If that's not overwhelming, I don't know what is!

Since that day, I've read and read and read and read... I've also written and written and written and written!!!! My life has been a constant whirlwind of work, but I've enjoyed it! Unlike my classmates, I am motivated by the fact that being a student is what God has called me to do at this point in my life. Therefore, I believe it is my duty to be a student to the best of my ability.

Classes have been amazing! I can honestly say that my professors are brilliant even though I disagree with them on so much of what we study! Theology class has been eye-opening for several reasons. My professor is a Catholic Priest, and while we may both be Christians, our differences in Theology are many! We have disagreements almost every class. We argue over the depravity of man, free-will, purgatory, the sacraments, exclusive vs. inclusive Christianity, "confession", and so much more. Learning about Catholic views on all of these issues has been interesting, but its made me even more convinced about Reformed, Calvinist doctrines!!!

The great thing about Georgetown, is that we don't save our theological, ethical, or political arguments for the classroom. The Student Lounge is always a lively floor for discussion. Yesterday, we had a heated argument over Islamic justification of polygamy. Many of my male friends insist there is nothing wrong with having multiple wives and plan on having several themselves. Personally, I think this is absolutely revolting (and I didn't hesitate to tell them). Discussions like this are plentiful...when its not about polygamy, its about Lebanon/Egyptian relations or Islamic works-based justification. We argue over anything and everything, but we have a great time!

I've made a ton of friends from all over the world--Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Lebanon, Egypt, Sudan (or, as she insists, Nubia), Israel, Jordan, Malaysia, Bangladesh, Oman, India, Pakistan, and Afganistan...just to name a few. :-) It has been a BLAST learning about their cultures and traditions. This past weekend I attended a traditional Qatari iftar. We are in the middle of the Muslim Holy Month of Ramadan, so the Muslims are fasting all day every day from sun-up to sunset. When they break their fast at sunset, they have "iftar", a traditional meal usually eaten with friends and family. One of my Qatari friends invited me to her iftar party, and it was SO MUCH fun! Of course, since men and women don't mix very much in this culture, the party was only for women. We ate Qatari food and sat on the floor on "majlis" cushions--a very exciting experience for me! :-)

I've got to go to bed because I have a huge Economics test tomorrow, but I'll write more soon! I assure you, I have many more stories to tell... :-)