"A Nefarious Day Turned Not So Nefarious"

“There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.” Sorry to steal this line from Jane, but it fits so magically into this story. Anyhow, this is not the story of any person. Rather, this is the narrative of a very eccentric character.

Since taking a walk was out of the question, I had to resort to other pastimes, and Andrea and I headed to Target. Those of you who frequent Target will understand that Target is a perfect “no chance for a walk” kind of place. For in Target, one can fritter away time endlessly. Imagine, dear reader, the purses to be examined, the sunglasses to be judged on a scale of how much they resemble “bug eyes”, the jewelry to break (Andrea is rather proficient in the area of breaking jewelry before she even takes it out of the store). Target is truly the “Paradise Lost” for those of us living across the “Wide Sargasso Sea”. However, that is not the subject of this post.

This particular day sounds monotonous enough so far, but do not be disheartened. Just as the day began to seem truly nefarious, I saw before me a rather felicitous and delightful item. Yes, just as I was trotting past the jewelry department towards the bathrooms humming “Go Tell It On the Mountain”…lo and behold, a creature most unparalleled and idiosyncratic dropped before my eyes. Exclaiming to my fellow Target frequenters, “How uncanny!”, I proceeded to buy this artifact—not neglecting, of course, the bathroom break, which had been most pitifully impeded.

Reader, this may very well seem an insignificant account, but I assure you, this “creature” has been a part of your life as well as mine. This creature is none other than that “ridiculous, pink, fuzzy hat that Elisabeth will not get rid of…”. Oh yes, reader, I know the depths of abuse this hat and I have received at your hands. Indeed, had the marvelous appearance of this hat not been so cleverly marked by such a fiendish day, I might find it within myself to dispose of the hat. However, as it is, I am so attached to this hat that there is no disposal in sight—apologies to those of you who loathe this “abomination” (I’m lookin’ at you, Dad…).

You have now heard the tale of the "Nefarious Day Turned Not So Nefarious".